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I was at Whole Foods a while back when a young guy drove by and shouted, "Grandma!" out his window at me. I laughed—because I’m 60, sure, but also because he wasn’t really seeing me.

His image of what getting older meant—sneering “Grandma” at a woman he didn’t know—was emblematic of something bigger. How often do we make people invisible, not just because of age, but because of bias, assumptions, or inattention?

I’ve noticed it in stores, where salespeople ignore me as if I’ve blended into … [Read more...] about Ever Had Someone Look Right Through You?

My dad was my high school debate coach. Unlike my older sister, I didn’t feel much pressure to compete—truthfully, I stayed on the team because it meant getting the last period of the day free. My real passion was in the theater department, but as a freshman, I competed in a few debate tournaments.

To be honest, I was woefully unprepared. My evidence box, a small plastic recipe file, was thin, and my understanding of the energy crisis—our debate topic that year—was even thinner. What … [Read more...] about Why Shrill is a Badge of Honor

When I was a kid, our toilets backed up. The block where we lived in Elmhurst had a lot of big trees and their roots would get into the sewer pipes and cause our plumbing to clog.

My dad never called a plumber during my entire childhood—EVER.

He’d head off to rent a Roto Rooter so he could clean the pipes out himself.

Well, not exactly himself. My brother and sister and I were his helpers.

The access to the pipe that connected from our house to the sewer system on the street was … [Read more...] about Roto Rooters

In February of 1961, four Black freshmen students at the Agricultural and Technical college walk up to a lunch counter at a Woolworth’s in Greensboro, NC. They politely order donuts and coffee. The waitress refuses to serve them.

Instead of leaving, the four students take seats at the counter.

For the next four days, more Black students dressed in their best clothes—pressed suits and starched dresses—show up at the Woolworth lunch counter and order food that never comes while White … [Read more...] about How to Act in the Moment

Mary has a law degree, a masters degree, and is an expert in her field. But the first time I met her on our coaching call on Zoom, her speaking style betrayed her expertise.
I came to discover through the course of our conversation that she’s smart, thoughtful, astute at answering people’s questions, and has great empathy for people.
But she spoke in a monotone with little emotion.
Her voice and delivery didn’t reflect the person I found her to be on the inside. She came across as lacking … [Read more...] about How To Breathe to Have a Better Voice