Mary has a law degree, a masters degree, and is an expert in her field. But the first time I met her on our coaching call on Zoom, her speaking style betrayed her expertise.
I came to discover through the course of our conversation that she’s smart, thoughtful, astute at answering people’s questions, and has great empathy for people.
But she spoke in a monotone with little emotion.
Her voice and delivery didn’t reflect the person I found her to be on the inside. She came across as lacking authority and confidence.
Study after study shows that people tend to accord high status to confident individuals, giving special value to their contributions.
Maybe you, too, feel stuck in a voice and style of delivery that doesn’t convey the very best of who you are.
The cool thing is that you can use your voice so that it truly reflects your personality, soul, and mind-set. You can appear confident and showcase your passion while highlighting your expertise and insights.
Try these three quick tips to unlock the power of your greatest communication tool—your voice.
Tip One:
Stand nobly and smell a rose:
My voice teacher taught me you must access your breath and connect with your body in order to make the best sound and to connect with the audience when you sing or speak.
Do this with me. Stand or sit in a noble posture—think Queen Elizabeth. Not only will this noble stance, or “power pose,” bring about feelings of confidence and presence, but also this posture will add depth and breadth to your speaking voice.
Next, access your breath.
Imagine holding a beautiful rose under your nose. Deeply and silently breathe in the scent of that rose through your nose. Where did you feel the air go? Yep! Into your belly/diaphragm.
Now add a little smile with your mouth partially open and breathe in the beautiful fragrance of the rose again—deep, quick, and quiet. Ta da. That’s how you breathe.
Please, no more speaking from the neck up!
Tip Two:
Picture a piano:
Remember Mary from above? She’s not alone. 80% of Americans speak in a monotone. They live their whole lives on one or two notes.
Roger Love, voice guru to the stars like Reese Witherspoon and Tony Robbins, advises all speakers to get emotion into their voices by using more melody.
Picture a piano. There are eighty-eight keys on a keyboard. Just like all those notes available on a piano, you need to use more notes when you speak, more melody. The high, low, and middle notes.
Try this fun exercise to access those highs and lows. Write out five or six lines of upcoming things you’re going to do and attach them to the melody of “Happy Birthday.” “I’m going out to lunch with Tim, then I’m getting a haircut…” Let the variety and energy you just sang come into the same words as you now speak them. (Thanks, Roger Love, for this little gem.)
Tip Three:
Think Once upon a time:
Telling a story is the best way to capitalize on the variety of sounds your voice can make. With a story, your voice and delivery will naturally be more captivating and memorable..
Last week, when I was on a Zoom networking event, the facilitator asked each participant to say a little about what they did for a living. Telling people what you do can be boring and robotic. So I turned my elevator pitch into a story of how over bacon and eggs on Saturday mornings growing up, my Speech and English teacher father always advised me: “Start with a story.” Best advice I ever got.
Whenever you can, pivot what you’re saying into a story. Your voice and delivery will naturally be more varied, emotional, and captivating.
Putting it all together:
So ask yourself: Who am I? What do I believe? What mark do I want to make on the world?
Then choose a speaking style that gets you where you want to go. Let the world see and hear what’s compelling and unique about you!
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