Ever Had Someone Look Right Through You?

I was at Whole Foods a while back when a young guy drove by and shouted, “Grandma!” out his window at me. I laughed—because I’m 60, sure, but also because he wasn’t really seeing me.

His image of what getting older meant—sneering “Grandma” at a woman he didn’t know—was emblematic of something bigger. How often do we make people invisible, not just because of age, but because of bias, assumptions, or inattention?

I’ve noticed it in stores, where salespeople ignore me as if I’ve blended into the background. But I also see it in workplaces, where employees feel unseen, unheard, and undervalued.

And it’s not just workplaces. It happens in our homes, with our friends, and in our communities.

Have you ever felt invisible?

Have you ever had a moment where your contributions, your ideas, or even just your presence felt dismissed?

Lynn Slater, a professor turned fashion icon at the age of 63, built a career on challenging the idea of invisibility. She defied expectations that aging women should “fade away” and instead claimed her space in the world. Heck, she wrote a bestselling book about it (How to be Old).

That same idea of challenging invisibility applies to all of us. If we want engaged workplaces, stronger families, and deeper friendships, we must ensure people feel seen, valued, and heard.

Here are a few suggestions:

Acknowledge the work that often goes unnoticed.

In families, this could mean appreciating the everyday efforts of a partner, parent, or child. At work, it’s recognizing contributions that aren’t always front and center.

Create space for every voice.

In friendships, do you listen as much as you talk? As parents, do you encourage your kids to share their thoughts without judgment? At work, do you ensure quieter voices get heard?

Challenge the biases that make people invisible.

Just like ageism leads to assumptions, so do gender, race, seniority, or job title. Who in your life isn’t getting the mic, the opportunity, or the attention they deserve?

Address silence before it becomes disengagement.

If a friend has stopped sharing, a child has gone quiet, or a colleague is withdrawing, don’t assume they have nothing to say. Ask. Listen. Show them they matter.

At its core, visibility is about connection—not just being seen ourselves, but ensuring others feel seen, too.

Because when we prioritize visibility, engagement, trust, and connection follow.